Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris
Quite unexpectedly, I was witness to a barfight today. At Big Milly's no less, a bastion of peace and tranquility. Some men are here to put a grass roof on the bar in anticipation of the coming rainy season and some Rasta guys were just hanging out. Like almost every barfight I've ever witnessed, it begins with the dick measuring argument as the opening act, followed by pushing, followed by the main event. I was enjoying a mid afternoon libation, chatting with a local. Big Milly (Wendy, the English lady who owns the property in partnership with her husband, the previously mentioned Tom) had already been by once to tell the “men more work less talk, please”, and after a time an argument ensued. Anyone who has spent as much time in bars as I have can tell the difference between an argument and an argument that is going to be an escalating problem, even if the language is not discernible. Anyway, the Gahanian version of Gilbert Gottfried was present and looking for trouble and thusly things escalated.
Unfortunately, due to the roof construction, there was plenty of wood around, and neither combatant was shy about grabbing a weapon. Both men took some pretty good shots to the head, while the guy on the roof implored them to stop from his perch, to no avail. He finally climbed down from the roof as all involved shouted back and forth in Twi (the local tribal language). Both Wendy and Tom came running down from the front desk hut, some distance away, and make no mistake, Tom is not a man to be trifled with, despite his gentle carriage. Anyway, after much fighting, all combatants were ordered off the premises, and the guy on the roof was ordered sternly back to work, even though he was a peacemaker. This made him so angry, that he stomped back onto the roof (which was not built for stomping). His stomping on the delicate roof, made all the other bar patrons flee for unroofed safety, except myself. I figured that the sound of the wood cracking would be enough warning, should I need to evacuate, plus it was too hot to not be in the shade. After a time one of the lady bartenders began teasing the roofer. All I could hear was a bunch of Twi interspersed with Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, as she took a karate stance. This caused great hilarity, as we all started laughing, including myself, despite my not understanding the language. The tension was broken and I am sure I saw Tom stifle a laugh as he walked back to the office.